Don’t Want to Be Your Monster

Bookishly Jewish has often covered books with supernatural creatures, both Jewish and otherwise. We even made an entire landing page that pulls out all the SFF books because sci fi and fantasy are some of our particular favorite genres. So while we haven’t seen it all, I like to think between all of our reviewers and community members, we have kept abreast of most major developments. We’ve seen lots of mythic creatures, but sensitive portrayals of Jewish vampires are not exactly commonplace.

Thanks to the antisemitic concept of blood libel, any form of blood magic used by Jewish or Jewish-coded characters demands a delicate touch. I’m always just a tad nervous when I do see it come up. However, I also want Jewish writers to be able to explore topics that are interesting to them without bearing the burden of Christian influences on their art. Therefore, I was very curious as to what I would find in Deke Moulton’s upcoming middle grade debut, Don’t Want to Be Your Monster.

The story features a Jewish vampire, Adam, who was bitten by one of his adoptive mothers as a baby in order to save his life after a Synagogue bombing. Adam’s family is unique in many ways, only some of which have to do with requiring blood meals to survive. His two mothers strongly believe in only consuming blood donated willing, and that no human should be turned against their will. They have taught scores of adoptive children how to live ethically as vampires. This means Adam’s family encompasses a wide variety of cultural backgrounds and ages.

Family composition and nocturnal existence aside, Adam’s older brother Victor appears to be experiencing a surprising amount of the same issues as most human teenagers. While Adam’s viewpoint chapters are full of fear about losing his brother as they grow up and protecting his family from those that do not look kindly on vampires, Victor’s viewpoint chapters feature a struggle to find his place in the world, pushing against boundaries set by parents, and that hallmark of adolescence – thinking he is invincible and refusing to acknowledge the consequences of his actions. As you might imagine, this means Adam and Victor are experiencing a bit of a rough patch in their ability to communicate with each other.

Oh, and did I mention there’s a serial killer running around who may just be a vampire hunter? In this world, vampires and other supernatural beings are actually commonly acknowledged as real. However, due to a large scale propaganda campaign they have been driven underground and most humans believe them extinct. This particular piece of world building took me some time to grasp, because otherwise the world is very much identical to the one we live in. However, I was reading an arc and it is possible the crucial bits of info have been moved up in the final version. Either way, I think readers may have a smoother reading experience knowing this fact up front.

Victor and Adam respond to this serial killer/vampire hunter in different ways. Adam sneaks out of the house to team up with some local kids trying to capture the killer on their own. This is where Adam makes his first Jewish acquaintance, Shoshana, and starts to struggle with integrating all the parts of his personal identity. Victor on the other hand, doubles down on the need to learn more “cool vampire stuff” and argues with his mothers about their insistence on giving him as close to a normal mortal childhood as possible. I found Victor’s POV chapters personally harder to read, especially when he talks about humans as food and his desire for the blood of young people. It churned my gut and was very ego dystonic for me, but isn’t that what being in the head of any teenager is like? Even for them? Victor too is struggling with his identity, only he is less aware of this than Adam is.

The murder mystery aspect of the book has some nice moving pieces that all come together in the end, and the conclusion is satisfying even if it does include some obvious sequel fodder. However, what I found most intriguing was the author’s note in which Deke Moulton talks about wanting to write a Jewish vampire specifically to combat antisemitic ideas like blood libel. As you can tell from the title, this is a story about being misunderstood or made into something that you are not simply to serve someone else’s needs. It’s a lesson that feels very relevant today, but has in fact been playing itself out, over and over, for centuries. Readers of all backgrounds might see themselves in one of these characters and finally feel understood.

BookishlyJewish received an e-arc from the publisher after inquiring with the author if we might be able to receive one.

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