Some books hurt to read. Some books are so full of raw and powerful emotion they clutch at the hearts of their readers leaving deep claw marks that will scab but never fade. Some books tell truths so pure they make me ugly cry on the subway.

Color Me In is that kind of book.

Following the tale of Nevaeh Levitz as she struggles to process her parents divorce, her belated bat mitzvah and the awkwardness of straddling two worlds, nothing in this book was familiar to me. I have never been to a black Baptist church. I have also never been in a swanky Westchester private school or a reform Synagogue. It is therefore a testament to the power of Diaz’s writing that I was pulled into these worlds seamlessly, effortlessly, from the first page.

As I watched Nevaeh learn to find her voice, even when that means letting someone else take center stage, I could only imagine the pain that comes from never truly knowing where you belong. The push and pull of having two cultures warring inside of you, each one trying to simultaneously claim and disown you all at once.

Diaz does not pull her punches. I was incredibly uncomfortable with Nevaeh’s father and the way he treated her and her mother. I was also incredibly uncomfortable by some of the things Nevaeh’s black cousins said to her. That’s kind of the point. To look at the world as it is and, like Nevaeh, learn to forge a new path within it.

Nevaeh finds her power with help from both sides of her heritage. Her Aunt Anita counsels her that one day she will find the magic within herself, and it is glorious to watch this prophecy unfold. However, Nevaeh cannot fully come into her own without the help of Rabbi Sarah, a woman who came to Judaism by choice and not by birth. These two strong women, and countless others, help Nevaeh become a woman in her own rite as she ascends the stage for her Bat mitzvah.

If this book makes you uncomfortable, if the truth it tells haunts you in the middle of the night, if you are too scared to read it because it shines a light on parts of yourself or your culture that you are afraid to acknowledge then I would suggest you are the person who most needs to read it. I never would have been given a book like this to read. I’m glad I found it on my own. Even if I did get a lot of side eye for ugly crying on the subway.

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E Broderick is a speculative fiction enthusiast. When not writing she enjoys epic games of trivial pursuit and baking. She currently lives in the U.S. but is eagerly awaiting the day a sentient spaceship offers to take her traveling around the galaxy.