Hessed, or lovingkindness is the sefirah for the first week of the Omer. It encompasses many forms of love, but also generosity and care for ones fellow man. Acts of hessed are things we do for one another out of love, not obligation.
Night 1: Hessed within Hessed, to me is the day where we experience the full range of love. In GOING BICOASTAL by Dahlia Adler we see that no matter we choose, so long as we approach it with love, everything will be alright. There are literally to story lines – sliding doors style – but the main characters approach to life and love is a constant.
It’s also a very gentle book, allowing me to be kind to myself too.
Day 2: Strength in Hessed, which reminds us that love needs boundaries. You must respect your partner, and they in turn must respect you. Everyone needs space to grow and be their own person within a relationship.
In Ina Garten’s BE READY WHEN THE LUCK HAPPENS she details how she and her husband actually needed a brief separation to work through how to each be their own person, making for a stronger marriage
Day 3: Beautiful Love, in contrast to the prior day, Tiferet, or beauty within love recognizes acts of kindness even to those that don’t deserve it. It is love without expectation of reciprocity and empathy for all.
In HOME FOR THE CHALLAH DAYS by Jennifer Wilck the main characters find empathy for the perpetrator of an antisemitic attack and attempt to end the violence. It’s a romance between Jews- I promise! -but this subplot showed a new facet to the main characters.
Day 4: Endurance in Love, which means fighting for what you love no matter the setbacks or hardships. In WAKE ME MOST WICKEDLY by Felicia Grosman the odds are stacked against our couple. Yet, they find a way to each other despite the seaming impossibility of it all.
Day 5: Splendor and Humility in Love and kindness, because when you are convinced you’re right, you need the ability to see the other side, to forgive and sometimes even cede for the person you love.
In LATE NIGHT LOVE byChayla Wolfberg we get one of the most Jewish, and satisfying, apology and forgiveness scenes in a romance I’ve ever read.
Day 6: Foundation in Love and kindness – to have lasting love, there must be bonding, a sense of kinship and attachment.
In HONEY AND ME by Meira Drazin the main character and her friend spend their bat mitzvah year growing as people and learning to accommodate each other. To each shine without overshadowing the other forming an everlasting bond
Day 7: Majesty within Lovingkindness. Some people interpret this day as mature love. A celebration of personal dignity and love that elevates the spirit.
In NIGHT OWLS by A.R. Vishny, two of the POV characters are estries. As such, they are way older than they look. Yet they are still discovering who they are, how to value their unique gifts, just like the rest of us.