Honey and Me

I’ve been a mother and I’ve been a daughter and let me tell you, living on both sides of that relationship still has not clarified it. So this mother’s day I’m choosing to review a book that details the most beautiful aspects of being both a mother and a daughter.

Honey and Me by Meira Drazin, is a book that most publishing professionals would call “quiet”. Which is usually the kiss of death, because in my experience if you don’t blow up a spaceship in the first chapter people are going to tell you that you are losing the reader and this will never sell as a debut. So let us celebrate the miracle that a book about two best friends going through their bat mitzvah year together managed to pass the daunting gauntlets of being both “quiet” and involving orthodox Jews which usually gets labelled “too niche.” Possibly this is due to the fact that it won the Sydney Taylor manuscript award. At least the publisher knew it would get the award winner sticker right from the get go.

Regardless, I am grateful Honey and Me made it because while the story details the friendship between two Orthodox girls, and how one must come out of the shadow of the other, it also details the complicated relationship between mothers and daughters. Milla has a small family and her mother has given up a career to raise Milla and her brother. Milla’s mother also channels most of her energy (and likely her disappointment at not being able to have more children) towards keeping a meticulous home and volunteering with Milla’s school. As an adult, I recognized right away this was not the healthiest dynamic, so I can understand why Milla prefers to spend her time at her best friend Honey’s house full of kids and fun.

When Honey and Milla’s classmates each have their own bat mitzvah experiences we see how each girl and her family have chosen to celebrate this milestone. We also find Milla fully coming into her own, even as the transfer of Honey into Milla’s school shakes up a lot of ideas she has about herself. The crux of the book is the Milla-Honey relationship and how they grow into their own adult selves, but I was most moved by the Milla-Milla’s Mom interactions. Just as Honey and Milla each celebrate their bat mitzvah’s in a unique way that is perfect for them, Milla must realize that her family – and not anyone elses – is the one she is meant to have, because they are perfect for her.

It is a book full of growth – not only for the children but also for the parents. However, the reader is asked to grow too. I have been told when I write about orthodox characters it is “too disorienting” for non-orthodox readers. While Drazin gives excellent context clues and explanations, she doesn’t water down the experience. It was particularly meaningful for me, as this was similar to parts of my childhood and also part of my mothering. Just like Milla, I had both the family and the religious life that was meant for me, and I was so fulfilled to see it reflected in a traditionally published book.

Find It: Amazon | Bookshop