Middle School was tough. Friend groups changed constantly, people you thought you knew one day abandoned you the next. Middle school as a Jew was even more complicated. I had Hebrew school twice a week and it prevented me from doing a lot of activities I otherwise wanted to. When Bat Mitzvah studies started it grew even more complicated. Despite my years of Hebrew school, sometimes I wondered if it was all worth it and what it really meant to be Jewish.

In Recipe for Disaster by Aimee Lucido, twelve-year-old Hannah attends her best friend Shira’s Bat Mitzvah, and finds herself drawn to the Jewish prayers. While her Grandma Mimi is Jewish and shared Jewish treats and traditions with her, Hannah never really attended temple. When Shira says Hannah’s not really Jewish, Hannah decides she going to have her own Bat Mitzvah to prove it, even if her parents won’t allow it.

“You’re not really Jewish” or “not Jewish enough” are phrases that hit home for me. While no one ever told me I wasn’t really Jewish, part of me has never felt Jewish enough despite Judaism being thrust upon me from birth and my Bat Mitzvah not being a choice. Therefore, I pushed back against the formality of Judaism. 

Like Hannah, I loved the songs of Judaism and grew up learning and experiencing them in Jewish venues such as Hebrew School and Jewish day camp. But as a logical science minded person, I’ve often struggled with organized religion. Also like Hannah and her recipe making Mimi, being Jewish for me was all about the traditions that I loved. Break the fast at my aunt’s house, Passover around a huge table at my grandmother’s house, and the food that we all grew up on. Matzah Ball Soup anyone?

Though it was hard for me to understand that being Jewish wasn’t just the formalities, as I grew older I began to realize it was about the cultures and traditions too. It didn’t mean you had to go to temple every week or even on the holidays. Being Jewish was a part of who I was, and I was allowed to experience it in a way that’s meaningful to me.

As Hannah prepares for her secret Bat Mitzvah, she realizes she can still have a connection to her Jewish roots and be part of a community that was in some ways kept from her. While her initial desire to be a Bat Mitzvah was initially for the wrong reasons, as she studies Torah and discovers her Jewish identity, she soon discovers for herself what being Jewish means. And while that’s something that is personal for each Jewish person and paths can vary widely, I think it’s an important part of the journey. As Hannah learns, “Judaism is about what’s in your heart, not about what’s in your blood or what’s in your head.”

For anyone struggling with what being Jewish means, not feeling Jewish enough, or just wanting to learn more about Jewish perspectives make sure to check out Recipe for Disaster by Aimee Lucido. And don’t forget to check out all the amazing recipes inside as well, because for many of us, being Jewish is also tied to the traditional things we eat at each holiday.

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Through Snowy Wings Publishing, Jamie Krakover is the author of Tracker220 (October 2020). She also has two female in STEM short stories published in the Brave New Girls anthologies and two engineering-centered nonfiction pieces published in Writer’s Digest’s Putting the Science in Fiction. Jamie lives in St. Louis, Missouri with her husband, Andrew, their son, and their dog Rogue (after the X-Men, not Star Wars, although she loves both).