A lot of parenting books focus on sleep-training and toddler eating, but few focus on the parenting journey from birth through the teen years. Parenting on a Prayer: Ancient Jewish Secrets for Raising Modern Children is one of those rare parenting books that can provide wisdom at all stages of the parenting journey.

Written by Rabbi and Jewish educator Amy Grossblatt Pessah, the book is structured around eighteen traditional Jewish prayers.  For each prayer, the author provides anecdotes and wisdom around a specific theme of parenting.  For example, after a description of the prayer Mi Chamocha (Who is like You), the book teaches Empowerment in parenting. For Shema (Listen), the anecdotes focus on Love.

When I first began reading Parenting on a Prayer, I wasn’t sure I would have derived the same lessons from the prayers that the author did. But the book’s anecdotes and lessons were so meaningful and open-hearted about the parenting journey that I stopped caring about whether each theme fit its prayer exactly as I understood it.  My understanding about Jewish prayers can admittedly be a bit rigid; both those who are familiar and those who are less familiar with the Jewish prayers might find new and enriching meaning in the Jewish liturgy from the interpretations provided here.

Reading this book, I re-remembered the great balance of parenthood: giving children space to grow into their own selves, while also letting them know we are fully available to them.  Early on, the author reflects on the important of names as demonstrated in the Ma Tovu prayer: “Your tents, O Jacob, your dwelling places, O Israel.”  The parenting lesson recognizes that though we give our children names, how and what they are called will grow and evolve with them throughout their lives.

Children’s growth and development is part of a healthy and natural process, even when they sometimes grow in a way we as parents wouldn’t have expected or chosen. This theme continues through many sections of the book. For example, when the author’s daughter at age 12 asked to change her room (in the section on Boundaries), her mother had to be willing to let go of the beautiful fairies decorating the walls. When her son didn’t see Judaism the same way as his mother (in the section on G-d), she told him she loved him and always would – despite their differing views.

That said, I also really appreciated how the author offered chapters that enable parents to teach their children about their own values, for example, having compassion for creation (Words Matter), or seeing G-d’s hand in life (Trust), or inculcating children in family traditions (Family).

What I appreciated most of all about this book was the friendly voice of a mother who’s been there in the struggle and honestly reports out her best efforts – both successes and failures – from the trenches. More even that the specific lessons, the stories from this book reminded me of moments in my own childhood or motherhood journey, and so often I was touched to discover my experiences were not unique. Sometimes as parents we’re afraid to share the messy parts, but hearing some of another’s journey and knowing that I am not alone was a gift.

Parenting on a Prayer can offer previews of coming attractions to new parents, but it also shines as a companion for parents who have been at this for a while.  It offers the comforting wisdom: The struggle is real. Other parents have experienced similar.  You will get through this. And it provides a framework and ideas for how to survive the experience with some grace and dignity – and raise kids who thrive.

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