Vayechi is the last Parsha in the book of Bereishit and it opens and closes with death and burial. First, Yaakov has Yosef swear he will bury him with his forefathers rather than leaving his body in Egypt. Then, when it is Yosef’s turn to die, he too makes his family swear they will take his bones out of Egypt. Although Yosef’s bones have to wait for Moses to liberate the people and carry them away, Yaakov’s request is granted immediately in the Parsha. Burial in the way they desired, was crucial for these two Jewish forefathers. Which reminded me of some pivotal scenes in Shelly Jay Shore’s Rules for Ghosting.
Rules for Ghosting literally takes place in a funeral home. Ezra, a trans man, is returning to help out at his family’s funeral home in the wake of his mother coming out and leaving his father. Ezra is taking over the books – which are about as messy as his mothers love life – and trying to keep the family together. The tricky part is actually not the finances or the family feud. It’s the fact that Ezra can see ghosts and funeral homes are full of them.
Rules for Ghosting contains beautiful scenes about family, life (Ezra is also a doula), queerness, and acceptance. one of the most beautiful moments comes when a trans person’s body arrives for burial and Ezra is concerned the wishes of the deceased may not be honored. His family rallies without even questioning it, stating this is their holy purpose, and ensures the proper burial. This is when Ezra truly feels his family’s acceptance – when they do for another what he would want them to do for him when the time comes.
Death and dying are never easy. Ezra is literally a doula because of how much death surrounds him at the family business. Yet, it is no less meaningful or important to ensure the wishes and person hood of the dead are respected than it is to shepherd new life into the world. Yaakov and Yosef both felt the need to express their burial desires to their family, and both requests were important enough to be recorded in the Torah. As we end this Sefer, it is important to meet this challenge head on. Chazak Chazak V’nischazek.